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dog202
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Name: Ian
Gender: Male
Interests: swimming, Water Polo, and lots more
Expertise: Using coumputers, Water Polo
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  en202
Member Since:
3/10/2004
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| hummmm looking back on this, i was a dumb kid. but still if anyone runs across this i ask that you be respectfull, for this was my childhood. | | |
| im caught up asking myself these deep questions, or are they? im just to shure. this whole situation is kind pissing me off/ making me depresed but whetever right? there will be more oppurntunityes down the road, right? maby? who knows. and who knows if ill even make the right decision than. it might end up better than these last two experices witch i would hope for but it might end up worse. now i like to think i and a gambling man but im not even to shure about that anymore. im almost to the point where im question my entier exinsent as a whole. my abiliy or in ability to read people and what there not saying seems to be in the shitter, but has it been there all along? have i ever been able to reed what people arnt saying? i dont know. apperentyl latley i cant. this is the second time in a row ive fucked up and taken action based what i thought was happining but it ended up in a compleat mess the first time. and this second time dosent seem to be much better. or is it, gah i just dont know. hummmm im just tired of fucking up what few frendiships i have or do i have any. bah i dont know. well fuck it hopefulley i can start anew sometime soon. | | |
| somting hit me today. ive allways just tried to be the nice guy, the one that dosent realy poke fun at others. under the impression that somday sombody will relize that and want to have a relationship. but from the looks of people are attracted to others that treat them like shit. honestly now im stting next to the biggest douchbag in the world, and he is talking to 3 maby 4 people at a time and his phone is constnley ringing. well wtf, the kids and grade a ass hole and everybody loves him. and its not just him, it seems that every douch bag i know has people hanging off them left and right. meanwhile i sit here typing wondering if i should become an ass hole like the rest of them. at first i thought it was just my looks but im not shure if thats it. it probley plays a part in it but nowhere as big as being an asshat. this is a fucked up world and im kinda tired of it. | | |
| why cant anything be simple now a days why cant things just be what they are and not have some deep plot behind them, some unsean reason for whats actualy happining. maby its been this was since the dawn of time and im just now noticing maby im just falling behind in the swing of things, i like to think that i am simple there is not much to me what you see is what you get. maby thats my problem. i dont know, i guess ill figuer it all out in time. and the only thing that botheres me about that is i dont think it will come in time. second fuck how come i jsut cant take things as they come it seems as thoe everyone wants me to have some huge plan, but i found out a while agoe that whenever you plan somting out it never gose as pland so i simply just stop planning. ever since it seems like everything is easyer and better yet i am allyaws getting pushed to go back to having some grandmaster plan. what if i just want to live life and be happy. what if my master plan is to have a good time. | | |
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